Dear J

Dear J,

I realized yesterday how much I've missed your company. I was going through our summer pictures and more than ever, I wish you were by my side to reminisce the good times we had.

And yes, more than ever, I need you now. I am about to make one of the biggest decisions in my life and I need you to back me up. This may be the most sane or the craziest decision I will ever make and I need you to give me a good whack in the head.

I am happy now J, happier than I ever was in a long time. But I know I will be happier if you were here. It kills me to walk in the streets and not smile at you or walk by your station without you giving me so much as a sideway glance.

I miss you J, I miss our laughter and our crazy schemes on how to get back at people who hurt us. I miss your sisterly reprimands whenever I cross the line. I miss your cold hand on my shoulder whenever I am down. I miss you asking me if your outfit is great or if you need to fix your belt. I miss our bikini shopping and shoe hoarding. I miss every moment we spent together, even that night we had to run across the streets from those kids who wanted to get into our pants.

I need you now J. I need you to share my happiness and help me make the right decision. I am a grown-up yes, but you know how crazy I get sometimes. And I just found out that I am still young. At 23, there still are things I cannot do without my parent's advice. And this is not something Mama will love to talk to me about. I need an Ate who will tell me straight that I am either losing my mind or plainly in love.

I know you know I will make the decision no matter what you say. That's how stubborn I am. I am a brat, remember? I always get what I want. But I need you to back me up this time. I need to know that you still have my back covered.

Can we pick up from where we left off, please?