Sunday

chicken-shit

8:34 PM, in my bedroom
May 2, 2010



Someone said 'I love you' to me today. My sky should have turned all pink and lit up with fireworks. Should have.

I just said thank you.

I wanted so much to make that person feel special but I just couldn't bring myself to say 'I love you, too'.

I feel love but it's for someone else entirely out of my league, out of my reach and out of my sight. K is all that and I love him. In so many twisted ways that I could not explain, I love him. And every minute I spend catching up with him is a minute I want to freeze into eternity. I don't ever want to stop.

We talk almost everyday now. And so I was wrong about saying that it was the end of K.

Apparently, that day I got roaring drunk was not the end of the story. The next chapters are painfully unfolding. And now I'm chicken-shit about saying something that might scare him away.

Something like 'I miss you' and even 'I love you'.

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